Incident Report

I was at a coffee shop yesterday morning and bought a medium coffee with steamed milk which I then spilled on my hands. It was extremely hot. The coffee lady came from the back with gels and creams and a cold pack. She gave me a new coffee free and I felt sufficiently mothered. The other customers waited for my skin to bubble up. The woman asked if I wanted to fill out an incident report.

Incident report was new to me but i knew instantly what it was. It's a "this is what i'm saying happened in case this ever comes up in court" document. I assured her that I was the idiot who spilled the coffee on myself, that it was my fault and no one else's. I don't want to go to court any more than they do. I'll make my money the old fashion way. As an assassin for the CIA.